THE ART OF ASKING: HOW MILLENNIALS CAN POSE THE RIGHT QUESTIONS FOR SUCCESS

In today’s world of too much or too little information, not the right information, questions about “are these my beliefs, values, is this the truth”?  Questions serve as a framework that guides us through our personal and professional journeys, helping us gather information, gain insights, and make informed decisions.

Throughout my life, I’ve not always been the most curious or adaptable at asking the right questions, particularly when it came to comprehending technical matters. However, along the way, I began to pay more attention, to listen intently, and this newfound curiosity often surfaced precisely when we were seeking answers, hitting rock bottom, or struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Regardless of the path we’re on, it’s imperative to cultivate the skills of attentive listening and asking curious questions.

While I appreciate Simon Sinek’s “start with why” approach, I discovered that we can’t always begin with “why.” Instead, I started asking, “Is this the truth?” Although, I found that beginning with “why” served me well it didn’t entirely satisfy my purpose. You see, I became fixated on finding my “why” and believed I knew what it was, only to realize that I needed to unearth the truth.  This forges an honesty to yourself that opens the act of listening and being curious. 

The pursuit of truth brought about clarity and a deeper level of understanding, fostering the art of unconditional listening, and enabling me to build robust relationships while avoiding those that didn’t align with my authentic self. Commencing with “Is this the truth” allowed me to unearth my genuine self, confront my fears, and gain insight into my relationships. This quest for truth initiated a profound honesty within myself, opening the doors to active listening and curiosity.

Let’s embark on a journey to explore the art of asking the right questions and harnessing your curiosity to create a roadmap for understanding. It’s crucial to remember that the sequence of questions may vary depending on the situation, but the key is recognizing that this is a dialogue of discovery.

Clarity is Exploring

“Confidence without clarity is a disaster.  You need clarity of vision, not confidence.”  Sadhguru 

The definition of confidence: is the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.

and the definition of clarity: the quality of being coherent and intelligible; the quality of transparency or purity. 

Let’s get clear to get some confidence.

Up to this point, I had to wear many hats and through this journey sometimes you forget who you are and pick up other people’s desires, fears, and goals.  Finding, having, and keeping clarity is a continuous endeavor because clarity can change.  What was my truth? Was I lost? This is where embracing the journey is extremely important. 

As a stay-at-home entrepreneur and mom, I had to understand that my journey time was not wasted or gone.  Even if you are in between careers or lost your job what you do with this journey matters the most.  I also realized that when you are helping others achieve their goals you are always achieving your goals.  You never stop being you if you are even if you feel like you are on pause this is where clarity should take form.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Is this the path I want?

What can I do to get there?

What needs to change?

Who do I need in my corner personally and professionally?

Curious questions to ask in a professional setting:

How did get into this business – find out what’s their story.

What did you find the most challenging?

What was the most rewarding?

What advice would you give me for my line of work?

What will you do now (if they are retired)?

Where do you see the future going in your industry?

Would you write a book about your story?

What is one advice you received that fundamentally changed your course?

Learning is Listening

I naturally lean into learning, but still lacked curiosity and made it my mission to always ask questions so I don’t shortchange my wisdom.  In my twenties, I did a lot of talking because I wanted to be noticed, in my thirties I was busy living life to ensure everyone was taken care of, in my forties I wanted to rediscover myself and be a better version of myself and as I start my fifties I am living my best version that learns from other while helping others succeed.  I guess this is what they mean by wisdom comes with age.  

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

What stage of life am I at?

What is the next stage?

Who do I need to listen to, ask curious questions, and explore the world I don’t know?

Who are my mentors?

Do I need a coach?

Curious questions to ask in a professional setting:

That is an interesting take, I am very interested to learn the reason you chose this point of view.

Can you share your experience?  This question lends itself to the following questions based on their answers. Here you can discover not only how they felt, but how they dealt with it.

How do you feel about the current project direction?

Can you help me understand your perspective on this issue?

What factors do you think are contributing to this challenge?

What suggestions do you have for improvement?

What specific actions can we take to achieve our objectives?

By using questions to gain clarity, build relationships, and solve problems, millennials can take charge of their careers and businesses. Additionally, seeking guidance from wise mentors can further enhance their ability to pose the right questions. Clarity and listening lead to meaningful connections and this leads to building longterm relationships.  The path to success is relationships!

Embrace the power of questioning, and you’ll find yourself well-equipped to navigate the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead on your path to success.